That phrase was uttered by John McHoul Thursday as the Haitian government is returning to power after the earthquake--and take note world, it isn't a good thing. I'm not even going to attempt to be clever in my writing (it's too late and I'm far too tired and drained to try). Here is what I know. You decide how angry you want to get......
45 days ago the earthquake happened.
10 days ago we were getting thousands of dollars of medications and supplies sent in on a chartered plane.
9 days ago the United States military handed control of the airport back to the Haitian government as the first commercial flight landed in Port.
3 days ago, I realized not much has changed here.
The government is now taxing all supplies into Haiti. Yes, relief supplies and medications. Tents. Tarps. Food. Clothes. You name it. A box of our medication that 10 days ago got in for free is now costing $400 to get to us. Money that could be going directly to the people of Haiti. I have heard that 250 tents can only get in if a fee of $10,000 is paid. Oh the irony of typing this as I listen to rain pouring outside my window..............................
The government did provide options--perhaps it wants to give the illusion of being a democracy after all. If those bringing in relief supplies disagree with the imposed fee, we have the option to hand over our boxes to the government for their review. At some point, they will return our supplies to us. . . should they determine we aren't for profit. Let the lying commence.
In other news....
Alex spent a good portion of yesterday (Friday) at a Haitian prison. With all the stories the last few weeks of orphans being approved for adoption, then denied and placed in tents away from their escorts, craziness and lack of common sense has ensued. Unicef and other organizations here are in hyper drive--it's a mass of chaos and ridiculousness....oh and egos. In a previous post I mentioned how Alex was stuck at the airport a week ago for 6 hours then got denied. Then Josh and Alex waited 8 hours the next day, and again were denied. Then the plane was supposed to leave Monday. Yesterday topped it all.
A 7 month old baby and Alex were supposed to get final paper work and leave around 11am, Miami bound. Around 4 John McHoul stops by the hospital to inform us that Alex is in a Haitian prison. I will admit--we all laughed for a good while :). Only him. I told him he's one of the most interesting people I've ever met, so this happening isn't surprising at all. Apparently somewhere along the line, the US Consulate forgot to include the signed document with the Prime Minister's signature to allow this child to leave. Oops.
But in true governmental fashion, instead of admitting their mistake, they insulted Alex for not wearing black socks, not shaving, and not being older. I guess he forgot to pack his suit when heading for disaster relief and providing medical care into the streets of Cite Soleil. It's ok, he offered them almonds in the car as he got a police escort to the station for questioning and told one of the top officials in this country he smelled good. Maybe they can put this all behind them and be friends.....Let's hope because he's currently sitting on a bus on the tarmac waiting for round 4. Pray he gets this child to Miami (in one piece) and gets his flight back to Haiti tomorrow. Better details on the Heartline blog: http://heartlineministries.org/Blog20.aspx
Haitian government: Welcome back to power. You remind me of the mosquitoes that bite me every night: bloodsucking and useless. I wish someone would squash you.
In Loving Memory of Ceajuste
Heaven received a beautiful angel last night--dark, weathered skin, and a light blue wrap around her head. At 61, she was being treated for a broken femur from her neighbor's house falling on her. She was gentle and grateful and beautiful. Over the last few weeks I've mostly worked with the women at the hospital and Ceajuste was a constant of mine. We sent her to Double Harvest for surgery on her femur. Little did I know when she left as I was working on Thursday that she would be standing in front of Jesus 24 hours later. She died from a PE (pulmonary embolism) after her surgery Friday night. My heart hurts.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Sleeping with the Lights On
I can now say I’ve experienced an earthquake. Well two technically.
As my last post said, Port-au-Prince received a 4.7 aftershock around 4am Monday morning and a smaller one around 10. I slept through the first one and didn’t feel the second one. I headed into the hospital around 4:30 to get ready for my night shift. All seemed well, but everyone was slightly on edge talking about the day. Something didn’t feel right. Even in my facebook status I said, “. . .something’s up today.”
The night shift was going well and all our patients were tucked in, sleeping for the night. Debbie is a nurse from Alaska and I’d like to say one of the coolest people (she definitely is), but almost everyone here is amazing, so that goes without saying. We were finishing up going over medications in the charts around 1:30 when her eyes got really big, and about the time she got out the word ‘earthquake’ was about the time my brain decided to realize what actually was going on.
I can’t really put it into words, but I’m going to try. I actually heard the earth shaking--the crack of the first rumble is still ingrained in my mind. It was terrifying. Debbie and I shouted to each other to get outside and somehow my body took over and I ran down the few steps and out to where our patients were sleeping on their cots under the tarps.
Then came the screaming and crying. And praying. Our patient count was in the high 30s and with all the family staying there was around 50 people outside. Fifty people looking at me for guidance and comfort. Terror ensued and something kicked on in me and I remember running to everyone asking if everyone was ok, grabbing them water and trying to comfort them. Round two hit about 10 minutes later.
I was inside getting more water for people and trying to breathe. My mind kept saying ‘You’re alright, you’re alright. It’s over.’ It’s one of those moments when you can’t believe what just happened, happened. Then the earth started shaking again and I again ran outside. I told Debbie to wake up Dr. Brad and ran outside to move the patients that were under the cement overhang in case it got worse or it collapsed. Can you imagine the fear of these Haitians in our hospital (and around the country)? Almost all of them lost loved ones and/or are in our hospital because of injuries sustained in the quake, and here were two more aftershocks back to back in the middle of the night.
I wish I could forget the sounds of them crying and screaming. I remember running to one lady, Antionette, and holding her in my arms as the shaking continued. Antionette was pregnant and trapped in rubble for a week--I can’t imagine what she thought at that moment. She was yelling out prayers in Creole, I in English. . . praying for the ground to stop, arms held tightly around each other. Brought together from different worlds, yet, praying to the same God. When it ended I realized I had tears down my face and I was shaking uncontrollably. Most scared I have been.
Debbie and I began lifting the patients in their cots and carrying them away from the walls and from under things. The remaining 5 hours were torture. Even being inside the building to go to the bathroom terrified me because we were afraid a third was on its way. After our patients calmed down, a few hours later we asked Jonathan (our translator) if we could turn out the lights under the tarps so they could attempt some sleep. He talked with everyone and they said they would feel better sleeping with the lights on. Our lights stayed on all night.
The medical staff coming in the next morning were also extremely rattled, as most of them were woken from their sleep. I took the earthquakes pretty hard. Never before experiencing anything like that was bad enough, but having to hear the screaming and the terror my patients were experiencing was even worse; not to mention that Debbie and I were responsible for caring for them and if anything happened to them while I was there, I don’t know what I would have done. They kept looking to us for comfort and direction and God alone gave my mind some clarity and gave me strength I didn’t know I had.
The rest of the day Tuesday I can say I wasn’t doing too hot. We lost a lot of our staff that morning as they headed back home and that hit me really hard. I spent most of that day in a daze. Anytime a dump truck drove by and shook my table I would jump. Low planes also sent my heart racing and it took a lot not to show that inside I was panicking. Ryan and I were sitting outside that night and I found myself looking around the yard to determine where I should run should another one hit. Falling asleep that night took quite some time.
When re-reading my last post I can say that I was forced to take Psalm 4:8 and make it more than some words on a page. “I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”
Oh Lord, how You made me put this into practice this week......You watched me take baby steps of faith and have carried me through with Your strength. You, alone, have made me understand this verse in new light....
How arrogant my last post seems. Only 50 seconds changed the lives of so many? Really? Because I felt the earth shake twice for about 10-15 seconds each time. I know how long 15 seconds can seem. THAT felt like an eternity and that was a 4.7 quake. I have a new perspective of 50 seconds. I really can’t imagine how long that must have felt to those here on January 12th............
"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, " says the LORD who has compassion on you. ~Isaiah 54:10
Much love,
Alisha
Prayer requests:
As my last post said, Port-au-Prince received a 4.7 aftershock around 4am Monday morning and a smaller one around 10. I slept through the first one and didn’t feel the second one. I headed into the hospital around 4:30 to get ready for my night shift. All seemed well, but everyone was slightly on edge talking about the day. Something didn’t feel right. Even in my facebook status I said, “. . .something’s up today.”
The night shift was going well and all our patients were tucked in, sleeping for the night. Debbie is a nurse from Alaska and I’d like to say one of the coolest people (she definitely is), but almost everyone here is amazing, so that goes without saying. We were finishing up going over medications in the charts around 1:30 when her eyes got really big, and about the time she got out the word ‘earthquake’ was about the time my brain decided to realize what actually was going on.
I can’t really put it into words, but I’m going to try. I actually heard the earth shaking--the crack of the first rumble is still ingrained in my mind. It was terrifying. Debbie and I shouted to each other to get outside and somehow my body took over and I ran down the few steps and out to where our patients were sleeping on their cots under the tarps.
Then came the screaming and crying. And praying. Our patient count was in the high 30s and with all the family staying there was around 50 people outside. Fifty people looking at me for guidance and comfort. Terror ensued and something kicked on in me and I remember running to everyone asking if everyone was ok, grabbing them water and trying to comfort them. Round two hit about 10 minutes later.
I was inside getting more water for people and trying to breathe. My mind kept saying ‘You’re alright, you’re alright. It’s over.’ It’s one of those moments when you can’t believe what just happened, happened. Then the earth started shaking again and I again ran outside. I told Debbie to wake up Dr. Brad and ran outside to move the patients that were under the cement overhang in case it got worse or it collapsed. Can you imagine the fear of these Haitians in our hospital (and around the country)? Almost all of them lost loved ones and/or are in our hospital because of injuries sustained in the quake, and here were two more aftershocks back to back in the middle of the night.
I wish I could forget the sounds of them crying and screaming. I remember running to one lady, Antionette, and holding her in my arms as the shaking continued. Antionette was pregnant and trapped in rubble for a week--I can’t imagine what she thought at that moment. She was yelling out prayers in Creole, I in English. . . praying for the ground to stop, arms held tightly around each other. Brought together from different worlds, yet, praying to the same God. When it ended I realized I had tears down my face and I was shaking uncontrollably. Most scared I have been.
Debbie and I began lifting the patients in their cots and carrying them away from the walls and from under things. The remaining 5 hours were torture. Even being inside the building to go to the bathroom terrified me because we were afraid a third was on its way. After our patients calmed down, a few hours later we asked Jonathan (our translator) if we could turn out the lights under the tarps so they could attempt some sleep. He talked with everyone and they said they would feel better sleeping with the lights on. Our lights stayed on all night.
The medical staff coming in the next morning were also extremely rattled, as most of them were woken from their sleep. I took the earthquakes pretty hard. Never before experiencing anything like that was bad enough, but having to hear the screaming and the terror my patients were experiencing was even worse; not to mention that Debbie and I were responsible for caring for them and if anything happened to them while I was there, I don’t know what I would have done. They kept looking to us for comfort and direction and God alone gave my mind some clarity and gave me strength I didn’t know I had.
The rest of the day Tuesday I can say I wasn’t doing too hot. We lost a lot of our staff that morning as they headed back home and that hit me really hard. I spent most of that day in a daze. Anytime a dump truck drove by and shook my table I would jump. Low planes also sent my heart racing and it took a lot not to show that inside I was panicking. Ryan and I were sitting outside that night and I found myself looking around the yard to determine where I should run should another one hit. Falling asleep that night took quite some time.
When re-reading my last post I can say that I was forced to take Psalm 4:8 and make it more than some words on a page. “I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”
Oh Lord, how You made me put this into practice this week......You watched me take baby steps of faith and have carried me through with Your strength. You, alone, have made me understand this verse in new light....
How arrogant my last post seems. Only 50 seconds changed the lives of so many? Really? Because I felt the earth shake twice for about 10-15 seconds each time. I know how long 15 seconds can seem. THAT felt like an eternity and that was a 4.7 quake. I have a new perspective of 50 seconds. I really can’t imagine how long that must have felt to those here on January 12th............
"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, " says the LORD who has compassion on you. ~Isaiah 54:10
Much love,
Alisha
Prayer requests:
- A renewing of my spirit this week as I am emotionally drained
- Complete removal of fear as I don't want to live in fear of another aftershock
- Our new medical team
- The exhaustion many of us are feeling
- The beautiful Haitian people--their physical needs, but especially their mental health as they continue dealing with these aftershocks
Monday, February 22, 2010
Normal is a Dryer Setting.
"Life isn't normal. . . normal is a dryer setting."
This is a quote from Jessica, a Canadian nurse, last night at dinner.
That quote pretty much sums up where my head was at yesterday. We headed out to tour the city again: same buildings still down, much of the same sights, the center of the Palace is crumbling even further. In a lot of ways I'm pretty immune to seeing destroyed buildings, but I am NOT yet immune to the human suffering that these tours reveal.
At the clinic Rosemon is an 8 year old boy who was trapped for 3 days in rubble. All his siblings and parents are dead. It's just him and grandma. (Whole story on Jared and Jalayne's blog). He is a miracle and has been bouncing around the clinic for the last few weeks with his bandaged head, goofy high pitched voice, and gimpy little walk. He's ornery and a sweetheart--always getting into something, but always smiling. After we got back to the hospital in the afternoon we noticed he was completely silent and reserved..he wouldn't walk with us or anything. In Jessica's ear I heard him barely whisper "My dad is dead. My mom is dead,"-tears spilling down his face. That rattled me a lot.
I snuck away to the swings to try and clear my head, and I kept getting hit with the realization that THIS is now what is "normal". How can everything an entire country once knew change in 50-some odd seconds? Normal now means living in a sweltering tent. Normal is begging for food. Normal is missing body parts. Normal is continuing life without the ones that used to fill that life.
Grief is definitely a processes and Rosemon reminded me of how intense and long that process is going to be all across this country. I wish I knew where to start. Haiti is a whole nation grieving, that will one day have to process this grief. Haiti is now an entire country full of people scared to go into buildings. How do you treat that?
We had a 4.7 aftershock this morning around 4:30 am. I slept through it mostly, but many of the other medical team members were jostled out of their sleep (some even heading outside). Winni, a Haitian nurse at the field hospital, said all the Haitian people on her street went running outside. We had another one mid morning. I didn't really notice that one either, but the last two days I have been feeling some tremors--the ground just seems a little more active the last two days. According to geologists, there is a 90% chance of a 5.0 quake in the next month.
Last night's church service rings loud in my ears. Jon said the safest place on Earth is in the middle of God's will. How true this is. I know He called me to be in Haiti for this time, and I know His hand is on me and the others that He brought together... so that is my comfort during my time here--aftershocks, predictions and all.
"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety" ~Psalm 4:8
In Christ in Haiti (as Jon and Beth say),
Alisha
Things to keep in prayer here:
Those in the tents as rainy season approaches (it's rained a lot more this last week)
People here grieving over lost loved ones
People (Haitian and Volunteers) that are wrestling with their faith and God
Jon and Beth McHoul as they continue to run this hospital
Jared and Jalayne Coblentz
This is a quote from Jessica, a Canadian nurse, last night at dinner.
That quote pretty much sums up where my head was at yesterday. We headed out to tour the city again: same buildings still down, much of the same sights, the center of the Palace is crumbling even further. In a lot of ways I'm pretty immune to seeing destroyed buildings, but I am NOT yet immune to the human suffering that these tours reveal.
At the clinic Rosemon is an 8 year old boy who was trapped for 3 days in rubble. All his siblings and parents are dead. It's just him and grandma. (Whole story on Jared and Jalayne's blog). He is a miracle and has been bouncing around the clinic for the last few weeks with his bandaged head, goofy high pitched voice, and gimpy little walk. He's ornery and a sweetheart--always getting into something, but always smiling. After we got back to the hospital in the afternoon we noticed he was completely silent and reserved..he wouldn't walk with us or anything. In Jessica's ear I heard him barely whisper "My dad is dead. My mom is dead,"-tears spilling down his face. That rattled me a lot.
I snuck away to the swings to try and clear my head, and I kept getting hit with the realization that THIS is now what is "normal". How can everything an entire country once knew change in 50-some odd seconds? Normal now means living in a sweltering tent. Normal is begging for food. Normal is missing body parts. Normal is continuing life without the ones that used to fill that life.
Grief is definitely a processes and Rosemon reminded me of how intense and long that process is going to be all across this country. I wish I knew where to start. Haiti is a whole nation grieving, that will one day have to process this grief. Haiti is now an entire country full of people scared to go into buildings. How do you treat that?
We had a 4.7 aftershock this morning around 4:30 am. I slept through it mostly, but many of the other medical team members were jostled out of their sleep (some even heading outside). Winni, a Haitian nurse at the field hospital, said all the Haitian people on her street went running outside. We had another one mid morning. I didn't really notice that one either, but the last two days I have been feeling some tremors--the ground just seems a little more active the last two days. According to geologists, there is a 90% chance of a 5.0 quake in the next month.
Last night's church service rings loud in my ears. Jon said the safest place on Earth is in the middle of God's will. How true this is. I know He called me to be in Haiti for this time, and I know His hand is on me and the others that He brought together... so that is my comfort during my time here--aftershocks, predictions and all.
"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety" ~Psalm 4:8
In Christ in Haiti (as Jon and Beth say),
Alisha
Things to keep in prayer here:
Those in the tents as rainy season approaches (it's rained a lot more this last week)
People here grieving over lost loved ones
People (Haitian and Volunteers) that are wrestling with their faith and God
Jon and Beth McHoul as they continue to run this hospital
Jared and Jalayne Coblentz
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Going with the flow: Updates and an IV--Part2
This week really has been an absolute blur. Three 12 hour shifts, then an 8 and 9 hour day with crazyiness has made it impossible to remember what happened on what day so bare with me. It’s been wonderful getting to know the medical staff.... great times laughing together after a crazy day on Tuesday. Wednesday night was tattoo night at the McHoul’s. Ryan, Jess (nurse), Emily (pharmacist), Kelly (nurse/standup comedian) and Beth all got tattoos--not what I expected in Haiti. Although nothing here goes as expected...(Mom, I didn't get one--yet)
A few nights ago Josh Hill (a friend of Ryan) got in. Good times and fun conversation with Josh and Alex before bed. After Alex felt the need to laugh at me and jokingly inform me for the next 2 hours that I’m about to be over the hill and destined to never get married (despite being about the same age), we all shared about what we want in a guy or girl. Lots of fun hearing their guy perspectives.
SO: as a result of last night’s conversation, I’ve decided since I’m in Haiti I need to change my criteria a bit.
All I now want in a guy is:
1). If he can bring me chocolate. (It’s a luxury here and I didn’t realize how much I crave it--even better if it’s combined with coffee in drink form & in a Starbucks cup )
2). If he can provide bug spray (I’d die without it....It’s like Haiti’s perfume)
Things change here in Haiti so quickly. Flexibility is the only way you make it through your day and I thought I had adapted to that here, but I’m still surprised at how fast things change!! Because of the craziness of our situation and the intensity of each day, you become so close with people so fast! Some of our nurses left on Thursday and it was so hard to see them go :(. Another nurse Jess left Friday morning. Suddenly around lunch Alex comes in and said he's headed back to the US. Thinking he is joking as usual we don't believe him. But, turns out he was supposed to escort a 5 year old orphan girl to Miami, as a person with a US passport or visa is needed. He then would have to wait until the 25th to get a charter back in.
Friday I also ended up with my second IV while in Haiti-this time for being dehydrated. That was hard because I felt like I was letting everyone else down--just frustrating. Suddenly, things change yet again as Alex comes walking in the house that night. Apparently after waiting 5 hours at the US Consulate the plane was canceled. Now this is not a funny situation, as I'm sure her adoptive parents are waiting for her, but for us here watching Papa Alex (as he's now called) walk into the house that night declaring he hates kids and recounting his day with this little 5 year old girl, it was extremely funny. I thought he was joking about how full of energy she is until I saw her in action myself tonight. Good luck new family! haha.
Today was a beautiful day...from start to finish. The sun was just a wonderful way to wake up and I finally got a little quiet time to myself and a great night of sleep! Back at the hospital nurse Jess came back from Pinion; she said she just couldn't leave all of us and spent a lot of yesterday crying. We are SO glad she's back. Like I said, things change from hour to hour here. Alex headed back to the Consulate on daddy duty and suddenly Josh was put to work (which was an answered prayer) as two more children are getting let into the US. It's crazy to be here and in on hearing these stories of adoption from this side of things! So suddenly, Josh was whisked away to join Alex except now it's two 20-something year old guys escorting a 5 year old, a 1 year old, and a 4 month old back to the States. I only WISH I had a video camera to see how this goes!! Again their plane didn't get off the ground and another 8 hours was spent waiting. Day to day, hour to hour...such is life here in Haiti.
Orevwa!!
A few nights ago Josh Hill (a friend of Ryan) got in. Good times and fun conversation with Josh and Alex before bed. After Alex felt the need to laugh at me and jokingly inform me for the next 2 hours that I’m about to be over the hill and destined to never get married (despite being about the same age), we all shared about what we want in a guy or girl. Lots of fun hearing their guy perspectives.
SO: as a result of last night’s conversation, I’ve decided since I’m in Haiti I need to change my criteria a bit.
All I now want in a guy is:
1). If he can bring me chocolate. (It’s a luxury here and I didn’t realize how much I crave it--even better if it’s combined with coffee in drink form & in a Starbucks cup )
2). If he can provide bug spray (I’d die without it....It’s like Haiti’s perfume)
Things change here in Haiti so quickly. Flexibility is the only way you make it through your day and I thought I had adapted to that here, but I’m still surprised at how fast things change!! Because of the craziness of our situation and the intensity of each day, you become so close with people so fast! Some of our nurses left on Thursday and it was so hard to see them go :(. Another nurse Jess left Friday morning. Suddenly around lunch Alex comes in and said he's headed back to the US. Thinking he is joking as usual we don't believe him. But, turns out he was supposed to escort a 5 year old orphan girl to Miami, as a person with a US passport or visa is needed. He then would have to wait until the 25th to get a charter back in.
Friday I also ended up with my second IV while in Haiti-this time for being dehydrated. That was hard because I felt like I was letting everyone else down--just frustrating. Suddenly, things change yet again as Alex comes walking in the house that night. Apparently after waiting 5 hours at the US Consulate the plane was canceled. Now this is not a funny situation, as I'm sure her adoptive parents are waiting for her, but for us here watching Papa Alex (as he's now called) walk into the house that night declaring he hates kids and recounting his day with this little 5 year old girl, it was extremely funny. I thought he was joking about how full of energy she is until I saw her in action myself tonight. Good luck new family! haha.
Today was a beautiful day...from start to finish. The sun was just a wonderful way to wake up and I finally got a little quiet time to myself and a great night of sleep! Back at the hospital nurse Jess came back from Pinion; she said she just couldn't leave all of us and spent a lot of yesterday crying. We are SO glad she's back. Like I said, things change from hour to hour here. Alex headed back to the Consulate on daddy duty and suddenly Josh was put to work (which was an answered prayer) as two more children are getting let into the US. It's crazy to be here and in on hearing these stories of adoption from this side of things! So suddenly, Josh was whisked away to join Alex except now it's two 20-something year old guys escorting a 5 year old, a 1 year old, and a 4 month old back to the States. I only WISH I had a video camera to see how this goes!! Again their plane didn't get off the ground and another 8 hours was spent waiting. Day to day, hour to hour...such is life here in Haiti.
Orevwa!!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
"It's a Broken Hallelujah"
Another novel: I just can't help it!
Sunday I got to go down to the USS Comfort ship to pick up a few of our patients. All I have to say is the US military base is a pretty incredible thing to see--all branches of the military, tents for miles, military planes taking off! A couple air force guys were so kind and kept asking us if we needed food or water or if they could give us anything. Just know, they are here to help and are doing a great job (regardless of what is being said in the media).
Later, Dr. Brad and the rest of us medical people headed into downtown Port by the palace to get a better feel for the devastation. THERE WILL NEVER BE ADEQUATE WORDS: power lines down, rubble still spilling into the street....we even had to duck a few times riding in the back of the truck as it just passed under downed electric wires. It feels and looks like a war zone. The center part of the palace is falling lower than when I saw it two weeks ago. It also was surreal seeing what is left of the national cathedral here. It made a bunch of us sick to our stomachs knowing the remains of people are still trapped in many of the building we are seeing. A different feel pervades the camp outside the palace too---slightly more subdued with more overtones of sadness than when we got in 3 weeks after the earthquake--for when we got here there was a more chaotic and desperate survival mode going on.
Again, you meet people eye to eye and you don't know how to react.
Sunday night the medical staff had worship at the missionary house that feeds us every night. It was such a remarkable feeling to be able to worship alongside people that I didn't even know existed a few weeks ago that now feel like family. ''And all will say, how great is our God"
The last 2 days of 12-15 hour shifts are becoming a blur. The Haitian people and the medical staff make every second of this worth while. I have to admit, I was quite drained Monday: the emotional toll of what I've been experiencing and saw in the city Sunday was overwhelming. BUT there are many amazing stories!!! Little Edison who just last week was sobbing his eyes out was literally doing back flips on his cot....broken femur and all. Three minutes later, he found gauze and purple wrap and has bandaged his own head!! Today..he was finally reunited with his family!!! His dad took him to the USS Comfort 3 weeks ago and had no idea where he was; after the staff here got him on the TV, his dad was found! We will miss him so dearly here but are so happy for his ending--and new beginning!
A few things I hope people know:
In an early blog I mentioned a man named Richard. He is a Haitian born man in his late 50s who now resides in Miami. On the way in from Santo Domingo I got to talk with him about how he has seen Haiti change since he was little. He mentioned something that I can't stop thinking about. He said he knows God didn't cause such destruction, but he wonders how bad things were getting here that this kind of change had to take place. Specifically, he was referring to the government here (which if you know anything about Haiti...it's horribly corrupt. EXAMPLE: We had 2 gunshot wound patients last week because the police shot into the crowd!). He said, "Every single government building from the palace to the smaller branch buildings have been completely destroyed. That is NOT a coincidence. Believe me, you do NOT want to know the kind of evil that took place in that palace.".......
He also said his solemn prayer is that Haiti is rebuilt in such a powerful way, (not by any one group or organization) NO ONE can deny that God did it. The power behind his hope still stays with me a few weeks later......I can't shake it.
That is what I hope you (whoever YOU are who is reading this) know about this country. . .
Yes, it is a fourth world nation. FOURTH world. Deemed one of the least developed, dead-end countries of illiterate, voodoo-ist heathens that only loot and beg to get by. Why would you dare to rebuild Port-au-Prince where it is!? Don't they know that there is going to be another 7.5+ quake that will happen!? "I've been to Africa and it doesn't even compare to the culture and violence here."..... The UN deemed the heart of Cite Soleil THE most dangerous place on Earth: you don't go in unless you want to be kidnapped and slowly tortured.
To those people, I say, you know nothing about Haiti. At all. Yes, there is heartbreak and sadness that no human being should ever know in their lives. There are things I have been told and am finding out that I don't think I can post here. There are not always happy endings and a silver lining.
BUT: There is a hope here that CANNOT be killed. But, the thing about hope is--it can rip your heart out. If you didn't care, then there would be no pain--but there also would be no hope. C.S. Lewis said, “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”
To hope is to go along for the ride--from the exhilarating highs to the devastating lows. To continue on through the lows takes courage and a strength not a lot of people possess. Hope is not a passive, emotion-driven entity; it's a conscious (and unconscious) peace and understanding that something will come through. . . .and please make no misunderstanding that true hope can ONLY be found in God and His power.
As I have found in the last few years and however many months, Hope keeps propelling you forward--often when you don't know why or even want it to. You can declare you've had enough, but it keeps rising up. Haiti will rise up...I have met too many remarkable people here to believe otherwise.
You can choose to believe the statistics. That's fine. But those statistics are wrong. NO statistic can tell you the miracles that are occurring here. There are smiles through the pain and people that have been rocked to their core again and again in this life, but they keep hoping.
A verse that has been my lifeline the last few months and my favorite verse is Proverbs 13:12--"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." Some of you know why this is so important to me, most of you do not. But this verse comes to mind here in this country. Hope is alive in Haiti. God is also very alive here.
Lespwa fe vive is a Haitian proverb. It means "By hope we live." The Haitian people are living each day by hope--often not knowing where it comes from. I hope you know Hope is from God. I pray that in whatever you're going through hope shines through the darkness and you have the strength and courage it takes to continue hoping.
The pain is imaginable here, but there is much Hope in Haiti..........
Much love <3,
Alisha
Sunday I got to go down to the USS Comfort ship to pick up a few of our patients. All I have to say is the US military base is a pretty incredible thing to see--all branches of the military, tents for miles, military planes taking off! A couple air force guys were so kind and kept asking us if we needed food or water or if they could give us anything. Just know, they are here to help and are doing a great job (regardless of what is being said in the media).
Later, Dr. Brad and the rest of us medical people headed into downtown Port by the palace to get a better feel for the devastation. THERE WILL NEVER BE ADEQUATE WORDS: power lines down, rubble still spilling into the street....we even had to duck a few times riding in the back of the truck as it just passed under downed electric wires. It feels and looks like a war zone. The center part of the palace is falling lower than when I saw it two weeks ago. It also was surreal seeing what is left of the national cathedral here. It made a bunch of us sick to our stomachs knowing the remains of people are still trapped in many of the building we are seeing. A different feel pervades the camp outside the palace too---slightly more subdued with more overtones of sadness than when we got in 3 weeks after the earthquake--for when we got here there was a more chaotic and desperate survival mode going on.
Again, you meet people eye to eye and you don't know how to react.
Sunday night the medical staff had worship at the missionary house that feeds us every night. It was such a remarkable feeling to be able to worship alongside people that I didn't even know existed a few weeks ago that now feel like family. ''And all will say, how great is our God"
The last 2 days of 12-15 hour shifts are becoming a blur. The Haitian people and the medical staff make every second of this worth while. I have to admit, I was quite drained Monday: the emotional toll of what I've been experiencing and saw in the city Sunday was overwhelming. BUT there are many amazing stories!!! Little Edison who just last week was sobbing his eyes out was literally doing back flips on his cot....broken femur and all. Three minutes later, he found gauze and purple wrap and has bandaged his own head!! Today..he was finally reunited with his family!!! His dad took him to the USS Comfort 3 weeks ago and had no idea where he was; after the staff here got him on the TV, his dad was found! We will miss him so dearly here but are so happy for his ending--and new beginning!
A few things I hope people know:
In an early blog I mentioned a man named Richard. He is a Haitian born man in his late 50s who now resides in Miami. On the way in from Santo Domingo I got to talk with him about how he has seen Haiti change since he was little. He mentioned something that I can't stop thinking about. He said he knows God didn't cause such destruction, but he wonders how bad things were getting here that this kind of change had to take place. Specifically, he was referring to the government here (which if you know anything about Haiti...it's horribly corrupt. EXAMPLE: We had 2 gunshot wound patients last week because the police shot into the crowd!). He said, "Every single government building from the palace to the smaller branch buildings have been completely destroyed. That is NOT a coincidence. Believe me, you do NOT want to know the kind of evil that took place in that palace.".......
He also said his solemn prayer is that Haiti is rebuilt in such a powerful way, (not by any one group or organization) NO ONE can deny that God did it. The power behind his hope still stays with me a few weeks later......I can't shake it.
That is what I hope you (whoever YOU are who is reading this) know about this country. . .
Yes, it is a fourth world nation. FOURTH world. Deemed one of the least developed, dead-end countries of illiterate, voodoo-ist heathens that only loot and beg to get by. Why would you dare to rebuild Port-au-Prince where it is!? Don't they know that there is going to be another 7.5+ quake that will happen!? "I've been to Africa and it doesn't even compare to the culture and violence here."..... The UN deemed the heart of Cite Soleil THE most dangerous place on Earth: you don't go in unless you want to be kidnapped and slowly tortured.
To those people, I say, you know nothing about Haiti. At all. Yes, there is heartbreak and sadness that no human being should ever know in their lives. There are things I have been told and am finding out that I don't think I can post here. There are not always happy endings and a silver lining.
BUT: There is a hope here that CANNOT be killed. But, the thing about hope is--it can rip your heart out. If you didn't care, then there would be no pain--but there also would be no hope. C.S. Lewis said, “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”
To hope is to go along for the ride--from the exhilarating highs to the devastating lows. To continue on through the lows takes courage and a strength not a lot of people possess. Hope is not a passive, emotion-driven entity; it's a conscious (and unconscious) peace and understanding that something will come through. . . .and please make no misunderstanding that true hope can ONLY be found in God and His power.
As I have found in the last few years and however many months, Hope keeps propelling you forward--often when you don't know why or even want it to. You can declare you've had enough, but it keeps rising up. Haiti will rise up...I have met too many remarkable people here to believe otherwise.
You can choose to believe the statistics. That's fine. But those statistics are wrong. NO statistic can tell you the miracles that are occurring here. There are smiles through the pain and people that have been rocked to their core again and again in this life, but they keep hoping.
A verse that has been my lifeline the last few months and my favorite verse is Proverbs 13:12--"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." Some of you know why this is so important to me, most of you do not. But this verse comes to mind here in this country. Hope is alive in Haiti. God is also very alive here.
Lespwa fe vive is a Haitian proverb. It means "By hope we live." The Haitian people are living each day by hope--often not knowing where it comes from. I hope you know Hope is from God. I pray that in whatever you're going through hope shines through the darkness and you have the strength and courage it takes to continue hoping.
The pain is imaginable here, but there is much Hope in Haiti..........
Much love <3,
Alisha
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Happy Valentines Day: Perfect Love Drives out Fear
So, I don’t know if its morning or night anymore as I finished up part of a day shift and 3 night shifts on a total of about 8 hours of sleep yesterday morning. I guess we had an aftershock around 630 am. Dr. Brad comes out of his room at the field hospital and says, “Did you guys feel that!? My bed just started shaking!” To which I wanted to reply...’No, I didn’t because I was asleep face down on the desk drooling.’ :) I felt useless Friday night because my body had barely slept in 3 days and it officially decided it wasn’t going to function--night shift or not. Other nurses staying at another missionary house also said they felt it. I understand how many of the Haitians don’t want to go back to sleep in their houses if they still have them. It’s the second aftershock in the last 3 days...again haven’t felt either, but now that I’m here, I’m OK with that.
A quick note to my youngest brother, Steven: I know you were telling mom you didn’t know how I could come down here since you know the extent of my klutziness. Since you’re always the one around when I do dumb things like fall into walls and get stuck in my coat, I thought you should know I’m still doing dumb things down here! A few days ago I sprayed myself in the eye with 100 proof DEET (bug spray) and had to throw water in my eyes for 10 minutes. Laugh away buddy. I’ll be home in a few weeks to annoy you again!......(And Brian, I told mom what reminded me of you the other day..but she can tell you that haha).
Yesterday was a day off after I was done with work in the morning. Definitely needed because I don’t sleep here..don’t know why. Emily, the pharmacist here gave me Ambien to help me sleep and even with that I only slept 3 hours. In the late afternoon I headed across Port with Ryan to meet up with a Haitian family he loves and stayed with last summer. They are, by far, some of the most wonderful people I’ve met here. When I told Mama she looked “se belle (beautiful)” she kept saying it back to me, hugged me, & gave me a big kiss on the cheek. Their house is narrow, dark rooms of block and dirt floors, with birds walking around in it; poverty by our standards but more middle class here, but this is a place that definitely feels like home!!! Got to crawl onto the roof and enjoy the view of the city as the mountains slope down to meet the ocean at the port where the military and relief ships are docked.
Ryan wanted to take the family out to dinner so we headed to the Visa Lodge (which is the only restaurant open). Loved getting to talk to Girard who wards off girls by wearing a fake wedding ring haha. Him and his younger brother, Davidson, are complete gentleman...waiting on me leaving the restroom before rejoining the group, grabbing my bookbag for me so I don’t have to lift it--just the absolute sweetest guys and family. I couldn’t have had a better time with them. Walking back in the dark with them I asked Girard about the day of the earthquake. He said he knew he had to get to his family in the chaos to see his mom and 5 other brothers and sisters and said he put his faith in God and just said “God, You are the only one who knows where they are.” We talked about faith and trusting in God and what that means, and he demonstrated how strong of a faith he has. He also mentioned how as humans though, we still have our doubts. It was just the conversation I needed to have.....no matter what culture we’re from, we are all so similar it’s amazing.
Later a bunch of us nurses got together and enjoyed a beer and laughed and talked at one of the houses we’re staying at. These people are truly so wonderful. It felt so great to decompress about the craziness of what we’re doing and what we’re seeing and to just laugh.
To round out the night of community here, back at the McHoul’s I spent the next 3 hours talking with Alex, an EMT from Los Angeles, who’s about the same age and is here for the next however many months helping. His family has been in the process of adopting a Haitian girl for 6 years and because of the earthquake she was put on one of the charter jets and flown out of here a few weeks ago. More great conversation on life and God.
Just the perfect day to get to know people. I wish I could explain the miracle stories of people here..the personal journeys ...the family...all of it, but those are someone else’s stories to tell. It’s just amazing how for this brief period of time, all of us from all over the world are in the same place, laughing, crying, and sharing about ourselves together.
Tonight a guy is coming over and some of the medical people here are getting tattoos. (It’s a surprise mom if I do or not haha...wait and see).
Before this gets any longer, I want to post Jon McHoul’s blog address here. Him and his wife are running this temporary field hospital and I’m living at his house. They have been in Haiti for 20 years and are amazing. Please check it out to get a better idea of the hospital here and what is going on from his perspective. It’s amazing!!
http://heartlineministries.org/Blog20.aspx
Happy Valentines day everyone back home! I am beyond blessed with some pretty wonderful people and the most supportive friends! Love you all!! <3
A quick note to my youngest brother, Steven: I know you were telling mom you didn’t know how I could come down here since you know the extent of my klutziness. Since you’re always the one around when I do dumb things like fall into walls and get stuck in my coat, I thought you should know I’m still doing dumb things down here! A few days ago I sprayed myself in the eye with 100 proof DEET (bug spray) and had to throw water in my eyes for 10 minutes. Laugh away buddy. I’ll be home in a few weeks to annoy you again!......(And Brian, I told mom what reminded me of you the other day..but she can tell you that haha).
Yesterday was a day off after I was done with work in the morning. Definitely needed because I don’t sleep here..don’t know why. Emily, the pharmacist here gave me Ambien to help me sleep and even with that I only slept 3 hours. In the late afternoon I headed across Port with Ryan to meet up with a Haitian family he loves and stayed with last summer. They are, by far, some of the most wonderful people I’ve met here. When I told Mama she looked “se belle (beautiful)” she kept saying it back to me, hugged me, & gave me a big kiss on the cheek. Their house is narrow, dark rooms of block and dirt floors, with birds walking around in it; poverty by our standards but more middle class here, but this is a place that definitely feels like home!!! Got to crawl onto the roof and enjoy the view of the city as the mountains slope down to meet the ocean at the port where the military and relief ships are docked.
Ryan wanted to take the family out to dinner so we headed to the Visa Lodge (which is the only restaurant open). Loved getting to talk to Girard who wards off girls by wearing a fake wedding ring haha. Him and his younger brother, Davidson, are complete gentleman...waiting on me leaving the restroom before rejoining the group, grabbing my bookbag for me so I don’t have to lift it--just the absolute sweetest guys and family. I couldn’t have had a better time with them. Walking back in the dark with them I asked Girard about the day of the earthquake. He said he knew he had to get to his family in the chaos to see his mom and 5 other brothers and sisters and said he put his faith in God and just said “God, You are the only one who knows where they are.” We talked about faith and trusting in God and what that means, and he demonstrated how strong of a faith he has. He also mentioned how as humans though, we still have our doubts. It was just the conversation I needed to have.....no matter what culture we’re from, we are all so similar it’s amazing.
Later a bunch of us nurses got together and enjoyed a beer and laughed and talked at one of the houses we’re staying at. These people are truly so wonderful. It felt so great to decompress about the craziness of what we’re doing and what we’re seeing and to just laugh.
To round out the night of community here, back at the McHoul’s I spent the next 3 hours talking with Alex, an EMT from Los Angeles, who’s about the same age and is here for the next however many months helping. His family has been in the process of adopting a Haitian girl for 6 years and because of the earthquake she was put on one of the charter jets and flown out of here a few weeks ago. More great conversation on life and God.
Just the perfect day to get to know people. I wish I could explain the miracle stories of people here..the personal journeys ...the family...all of it, but those are someone else’s stories to tell. It’s just amazing how for this brief period of time, all of us from all over the world are in the same place, laughing, crying, and sharing about ourselves together.
Tonight a guy is coming over and some of the medical people here are getting tattoos. (It’s a surprise mom if I do or not haha...wait and see).
Before this gets any longer, I want to post Jon McHoul’s blog address here. Him and his wife are running this temporary field hospital and I’m living at his house. They have been in Haiti for 20 years and are amazing. Please check it out to get a better idea of the hospital here and what is going on from his perspective. It’s amazing!!
http://heartlineministries.org/Blog20.aspx
Happy Valentines day everyone back home! I am beyond blessed with some pretty wonderful people and the most supportive friends! Love you all!! <3
Friday, February 12, 2010
WHEN THE DARKNESS CLOSES IN LORD...
As my night shift finished up this morning, stereo equipment was being set up at the hospital to hold a memorial service as today marks the one month anniversary of the earthquake...it’s a national day of mourning all over the city. Over the radio Haitians were told to wear black or white and have a 3 day fast in memory of the over 200,000 lost. As I write this I can hear worship songs and singing from my bed. I don’t know the language, but I know the songs are of sadness as well as praise.......
....STILL I WILL SAY, BLESSED BE YOUR NAME.....
The faces on the people at the hospital as they sing praises are full of smiles and a strength I don’t understand. I can’t wait to get the video up of their worship services every night...clapping and singing so loud I’m sure the whole neighborhood hears. How many of us, though we have lost nothing, praise like this on Sundays--let alone every day?
.......YOU GIVE AND TAKE AWAY...........
Looking around the hospital this morning at all the patients and family members sleeping on cots, I started getting choked up as English worship songs I know began playing. As I’m getting to know the patients, their stories are heartbreaking. We have a 3 month old baby boy who will never know his mother. There are a couple young patients that lost their entire family of parents and siblings. Edison (who is about 8) doesn’t know where a single family member is. There is definitely a sadness in many eyes here...I definitely know what that emotion looks like. I hate the memory of the older man sitting silently by the side of the road with his arm raised up---asking for food without saying a word. I hate that we are discharging these patients back to homelessness.
.........MY HEART WILL CHOOSE TO SAY.... LORD, BLESSED BE YOUR NAME
My first few days here I was in shock at the world I was thrown into. Then, I quickly became immune to the piles of rubble and destruction everywhere. I’ve walked by many houses that are so flattened that I know the remains of people have not yet been pulled out. I have been told in many parts of Port-au-Prince, people are camped outside the rubble of their homes so that they can retrieve the bodies of their loved ones when the dump trucks come. One month later. I don’t understand this part of God’s plan, but along with the Haitians today, I simply look up...........
....STILL I WILL SAY, BLESSED BE YOUR NAME.....
The faces on the people at the hospital as they sing praises are full of smiles and a strength I don’t understand. I can’t wait to get the video up of their worship services every night...clapping and singing so loud I’m sure the whole neighborhood hears. How many of us, though we have lost nothing, praise like this on Sundays--let alone every day?
.......YOU GIVE AND TAKE AWAY...........
Looking around the hospital this morning at all the patients and family members sleeping on cots, I started getting choked up as English worship songs I know began playing. As I’m getting to know the patients, their stories are heartbreaking. We have a 3 month old baby boy who will never know his mother. There are a couple young patients that lost their entire family of parents and siblings. Edison (who is about 8) doesn’t know where a single family member is. There is definitely a sadness in many eyes here...I definitely know what that emotion looks like. I hate the memory of the older man sitting silently by the side of the road with his arm raised up---asking for food without saying a word. I hate that we are discharging these patients back to homelessness.
.........MY HEART WILL CHOOSE TO SAY.... LORD, BLESSED BE YOUR NAME
My first few days here I was in shock at the world I was thrown into. Then, I quickly became immune to the piles of rubble and destruction everywhere. I’ve walked by many houses that are so flattened that I know the remains of people have not yet been pulled out. I have been told in many parts of Port-au-Prince, people are camped outside the rubble of their homes so that they can retrieve the bodies of their loved ones when the dump trucks come. One month later. I don’t understand this part of God’s plan, but along with the Haitians today, I simply look up...........
Thursday, February 11, 2010
The floods came up and the rain came down....
Have that song in my head because Doctor Pete and Ryan were singing in in honor of our 6 am downpour. Rainy season came early last night, well, this morning. Ryan, another nurse (jess), and I were working 7p-7a at the temporary hospital last night. It was a good shift: people seemed to be doing fine, spent most of it organizing the rooms, jamming to MIA’s Paper Planes, and watching Dexter on a laptop (need to see more of this show to know if it’s one I’d keep watching). Then, a little before 6 in the morning, it decided to rain. And by rain, I mean it felt like standing under a waterfall.
Normally this isn’t a bad thing: watch rain from the inside of a hospital window and grumble about how I hate Ohio...but here, all 26 of our patients are sleeping outside on cots, under big blue tarps tied to the trees. The force of the water and how fast it kept coming started to weigh down our tarps and water began pouring in. Things turned chaotic. A lot of our patients have external fixators which means they have open wounds at risk for infection, many others have casts, almost all have wounds--a horrible combination for dirty rain water.
The three of us began running to clear a space to get as many patients inside as we could. Family members of the patients that are staying at the hospital also began helping us lift people. We were picking up our patients-cots and all- and trying to run them inside. Everyone kept trying to dump the water off the tarps because they kept dropping low to the ground with the weight and one of them seemed to start ripping. About half an hour later, with our most critical patients safely in dry areas and dripping wet head to toe, the rains stopped and shift change happened.
It was definitely a good adrenaline kick, but the reality is scary. I don’t know what these clinics are going to do once March and rainy season hits. I’m so worried about these tent cities as I’ve said some are really just sticks tied together and a sheet. I’ve been into some of these camps and I can’t even describe the living conditions to you in words because words have yet to be invented to depict how 500 families can survive on top of each other with one bathroom and only 3 sources of water.
Please pray for these families as rainy season approaches. It’s going to get much worse here before it gets any better.......
OK..off to do my 2nd of 4 night shifts in a row. Miss you all! :)
Alisha
Normally this isn’t a bad thing: watch rain from the inside of a hospital window and grumble about how I hate Ohio...but here, all 26 of our patients are sleeping outside on cots, under big blue tarps tied to the trees. The force of the water and how fast it kept coming started to weigh down our tarps and water began pouring in. Things turned chaotic. A lot of our patients have external fixators which means they have open wounds at risk for infection, many others have casts, almost all have wounds--a horrible combination for dirty rain water.
The three of us began running to clear a space to get as many patients inside as we could. Family members of the patients that are staying at the hospital also began helping us lift people. We were picking up our patients-cots and all- and trying to run them inside. Everyone kept trying to dump the water off the tarps because they kept dropping low to the ground with the weight and one of them seemed to start ripping. About half an hour later, with our most critical patients safely in dry areas and dripping wet head to toe, the rains stopped and shift change happened.
It was definitely a good adrenaline kick, but the reality is scary. I don’t know what these clinics are going to do once March and rainy season hits. I’m so worried about these tent cities as I’ve said some are really just sticks tied together and a sheet. I’ve been into some of these camps and I can’t even describe the living conditions to you in words because words have yet to be invented to depict how 500 families can survive on top of each other with one bathroom and only 3 sources of water.
Please pray for these families as rainy season approaches. It’s going to get much worse here before it gets any better.......
OK..off to do my 2nd of 4 night shifts in a row. Miss you all! :)
Alisha
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Haitian Hangover
When we first got in Port-au-Prince, the doctor at the YWAM clinic base warned us about a sickness they affectionately named the "Haitian Hangover." They said it takes people out flat on their back for a few days.....well.... I found out what that felt like!
Got a little achy during my Friday night shift and came back to the Macoul's (Missionaries with Heartline Ministries here) house to sleep a bit. I became freezing cold (which I'm told doesn't happen here) and woke up from my nap burning up and could barely walk out of my bedroom to the table a few feet away--definitely never had something hit me that fast. Ryan came in to walk me back so I could go work at a clinic and took my temp which was about 102, so I found myself being a patient at the clinic and hooked up to an IV. I was brave and let Ryan get some IV experience...didn't get it (in fairness I think he hit a valve)..so I got stuck again. The doctor freaked me out and told me she thought it was Dengue fever, thankfully it wasn't and needless to say after a few days of laying in bed, I'm alive.
Today Ash and I moved over to Jon and Beth Macoul's house so I can pop in and out of the clinic. Saw my little girl, Esther I mentioned in my last post. She looked somewhat better!! :) :) I actually got her to smile by tickling her feet! I carried her around a bit and her mother wouldn't take her back which is hard to see and she just cries and cries to be left alone on her cot. Wish I could bring her home!
Back at the hospital (turned into a hospital from a boys orphanage) I had to laugh while watching the craziness of medical care here around me: IVs hanging from the ceiling, running Nitro in without a pump & guessing at the rate, the physical therapist showing a paitent how to dance, tons of mosquito spray, and in the middle of people everywhere...a dog almost knocking an IV pole over while playing fetch with the doctors and patients.
Good day today. I needed that. We got to go to the big dinner that other missionaries put on for all the medical personel. SUCH GOOD FOOD! SO HAPPY :). There are so many amazing stories from the doctors, nurses, and EMTs here. Some just picked up and showed up, others know each other, some don't know if their jobs will be waiting when they get home..... One nurse is a comedian in Brooklyn and said she gets paid more for her stand up gig than nursing :). It's awesome being around such amazing people.
Bon nuit ( my limited creole)
Got a little achy during my Friday night shift and came back to the Macoul's (Missionaries with Heartline Ministries here) house to sleep a bit. I became freezing cold (which I'm told doesn't happen here) and woke up from my nap burning up and could barely walk out of my bedroom to the table a few feet away--definitely never had something hit me that fast. Ryan came in to walk me back so I could go work at a clinic and took my temp which was about 102, so I found myself being a patient at the clinic and hooked up to an IV. I was brave and let Ryan get some IV experience...didn't get it (in fairness I think he hit a valve)..so I got stuck again. The doctor freaked me out and told me she thought it was Dengue fever, thankfully it wasn't and needless to say after a few days of laying in bed, I'm alive.
Today Ash and I moved over to Jon and Beth Macoul's house so I can pop in and out of the clinic. Saw my little girl, Esther I mentioned in my last post. She looked somewhat better!! :) :) I actually got her to smile by tickling her feet! I carried her around a bit and her mother wouldn't take her back which is hard to see and she just cries and cries to be left alone on her cot. Wish I could bring her home!
Back at the hospital (turned into a hospital from a boys orphanage) I had to laugh while watching the craziness of medical care here around me: IVs hanging from the ceiling, running Nitro in without a pump & guessing at the rate, the physical therapist showing a paitent how to dance, tons of mosquito spray, and in the middle of people everywhere...a dog almost knocking an IV pole over while playing fetch with the doctors and patients.
Good day today. I needed that. We got to go to the big dinner that other missionaries put on for all the medical personel. SUCH GOOD FOOD! SO HAPPY :). There are so many amazing stories from the doctors, nurses, and EMTs here. Some just picked up and showed up, others know each other, some don't know if their jobs will be waiting when they get home..... One nurse is a comedian in Brooklyn and said she gets paid more for her stand up gig than nursing :). It's awesome being around such amazing people.
Bon nuit ( my limited creole)
Saturday, February 6, 2010
It is Saturday isn't it??
Just done with my first night shift at the make shift hospital so I'm more than a little out of it...heading out in a few hours to do an into the streets type clinic with Jose.
Yesterday just wasn't Ash and I's day haha. Just a rough day spiritually and emotionally...and apparently physically. I was extremely achy and sore last night during my shift so I'm really hoping I don't get sick down here!
Relaxed and read all day in preparation for my night shift. Around 4 her and I headed to the UN camp/headquarters to hear the daily health meeting. Ash accidentally locked us out and my bag with passport and all IDs in the house so no ID for me..but we still got in. Apparently if you're an American..you can flash them a piece of paper and you're in. That's ridiculously sad to me...not sure what makes us so superior to the people living in their own country, but that's a political rant that I don't even care to write haha (lucky you!).
Let's just say...I felt out of my league in this meeting. Choppers and planes are taking off all around us, top brief-cased officials and scrubbed up doctors alike where everywhere. Was surrounded by the heads of every major organization in this country (Unicef, World Vision, Save the Children....), and tons of army men from the US, France, Philippines, Japan and on. The new ones to the meeting told what we were doing, how long we're planning to be here, and what supplies we needed to continue, and the networking began as we were then partnered up with various resources. I'm glad I didn't have to talk!...Didn't quite fit in with my shorts, T-shirt, and flip flops! BUT heading back again to hopefully get more info and maybe supplies on Monday--and my badge :).
Met a great contact with a pastor from a church in Orange County, California. He's setting up teams to do 3-4 days out in a town. Cool thing about this is that his team was wondering where the YWAM clinic by the palace was and we were able to tell him as well and actually found the YWAM doctor there at the meeting.... God places people in situations for reasons, clearly.
Last night was my first shift at the hospital. Let me tell you, doing IV pushes outside, in the dark, with flash lights as a guide is insane nursing! haha, but to be honest, I kinda love it. The operating/procedure table is taped up on wooden legs, Ryan (who I was finally able to meet up with again) created chart racks out of bath basins, and a Haitian minister decided to yell/sing over a microphone from 3am-5am in the streets--waking up the patients...(wanted to punch him in the face, not gonna lie!).
And I cried for the first time here. Ya, I know, surprising for those of you who know how easy it is for me to cry. Baby Esther broke my heart. She is over 1 years old...and weighs......8 lbs. She is completely emaciated and for whatever reason (cultural/other) her mom doesn't feed her. Mentally I'd say she's around a newborn, and has no muscle tone to hold up her head or legs. We took turns feeding her and holding her, because she doesn't get that attention and just cries. As I walked on the porch holding her, I could feel every, single rib in her back. I hummed silent night to her and she wrapped her little hand tight around my arm. That's about when I lost it.
There are some things I can't accept in this world. That is one of them. "But the needy will not always be forgotten, nor the hope of the afflicted ever perish." Psalm 9:18. I found myself being quite angry with this and letting God know it.... I'm pretty sure He is saying "ME TOO."
Yesterday just wasn't Ash and I's day haha. Just a rough day spiritually and emotionally...and apparently physically. I was extremely achy and sore last night during my shift so I'm really hoping I don't get sick down here!
Relaxed and read all day in preparation for my night shift. Around 4 her and I headed to the UN camp/headquarters to hear the daily health meeting. Ash accidentally locked us out and my bag with passport and all IDs in the house so no ID for me..but we still got in. Apparently if you're an American..you can flash them a piece of paper and you're in. That's ridiculously sad to me...not sure what makes us so superior to the people living in their own country, but that's a political rant that I don't even care to write haha (lucky you!).
Let's just say...I felt out of my league in this meeting. Choppers and planes are taking off all around us, top brief-cased officials and scrubbed up doctors alike where everywhere. Was surrounded by the heads of every major organization in this country (Unicef, World Vision, Save the Children....), and tons of army men from the US, France, Philippines, Japan and on. The new ones to the meeting told what we were doing, how long we're planning to be here, and what supplies we needed to continue, and the networking began as we were then partnered up with various resources. I'm glad I didn't have to talk!...Didn't quite fit in with my shorts, T-shirt, and flip flops! BUT heading back again to hopefully get more info and maybe supplies on Monday--and my badge :).
Met a great contact with a pastor from a church in Orange County, California. He's setting up teams to do 3-4 days out in a town. Cool thing about this is that his team was wondering where the YWAM clinic by the palace was and we were able to tell him as well and actually found the YWAM doctor there at the meeting.... God places people in situations for reasons, clearly.
Last night was my first shift at the hospital. Let me tell you, doing IV pushes outside, in the dark, with flash lights as a guide is insane nursing! haha, but to be honest, I kinda love it. The operating/procedure table is taped up on wooden legs, Ryan (who I was finally able to meet up with again) created chart racks out of bath basins, and a Haitian minister decided to yell/sing over a microphone from 3am-5am in the streets--waking up the patients...(wanted to punch him in the face, not gonna lie!).
And I cried for the first time here. Ya, I know, surprising for those of you who know how easy it is for me to cry. Baby Esther broke my heart. She is over 1 years old...and weighs......8 lbs. She is completely emaciated and for whatever reason (cultural/other) her mom doesn't feed her. Mentally I'd say she's around a newborn, and has no muscle tone to hold up her head or legs. We took turns feeding her and holding her, because she doesn't get that attention and just cries. As I walked on the porch holding her, I could feel every, single rib in her back. I hummed silent night to her and she wrapped her little hand tight around my arm. That's about when I lost it.
There are some things I can't accept in this world. That is one of them. "But the needy will not always be forgotten, nor the hope of the afflicted ever perish." Psalm 9:18. I found myself being quite angry with this and letting God know it.... I'm pretty sure He is saying "ME TOO."
Friday, February 5, 2010
I'm going to War... Against the Mosquitoes
So I've decided to fight back against these vicious, blood sucking parasites and have invested in taking baths in DEET ,and now have a tent set up in the bedroom I'm staying in, while Ash has covered her bunk in mosquito netting. Last night was a success as I finally was able to sleep without the sound of them dive-bombing into my sheet to get to me! YAY!
Time doesn't exist here and I'm never sure of the day or time so sorry if my stories run together! Yesterday Jared, Jalayne, Ash, the Akron boys, and Marion headed out to Citi Soleil. It is the dump in Port-au-Prince and where many people actually live. Jalayne said that even before the earthquake you weren't supposed to go into the heart of Citi Soleil without a UN escort because it is that bad. Josh (one of the guys from Akron who was here last summer) said that he was told it's like walking into hell itself. You think you've seen poverty throughout the city, yet here people literally live under the trash and crawl out from under tarps and tin. We didn't go into the heart of this area, but the outskirts were awful enough.
We went back to the mission house here and spent some time with the people there. Evelyn is a wonderful older woman I met the first night here. She hugged me, kissed me on the cheek, grabbed my hand and led me out back where the people of the neighborhood set up tents and showed me around what is now her home. Some of the women made Haitian coffee for us and brought them up to us in cracked cups and saucers. How wonderful are these women that have lost almost everything, yet wanted to serve us!?
On the medical front:... A man named Jose from Wisconsin is also staying with Jared and Jalayne from time to time. He's an EMT and just picked up his stuff and flew down here not long after the earthquake--knowing no one or the language. He heads out into the city to provide care for people and he's seen about 100-200 patients a day on his own. Basically, individuals seem to be what's getting things done in this city. He went to the airport and made a big scene when he realized they weren't getting out medical supplies and now has a free pass to get all the antibiotics, medicine, and supplies he needs. He was so excited to hear I'm a nurse and on Sunday I will be heading out with him, a team of doctors, and security and we will be driving to Leogane--which was the epicenter of the quake where nearly the entire town was destroyed. He said there are about 100+ families in a stadium that haven't had any care and are living in complete decimation. He warned me to bring masks and instructed me that there is absolutely NO scope of practice. So basically, I will be diagnosing (with some help from the doctors when I can get it), treating, and prescribing medications. This is going to be quite a challenge to diagnose and write a prescription, fill meds, and make sure they understand how to take the medications while knowing hardly any French Creole.
Jose wants to take us to the daily health meetings of all the top NGO (non-governmental organizations) in the country to hear what's going on. Also, he was told by a security official that worked on the 9/11 security issues in America that in about 2 months it could become quite dangerous in this country and that any American wanting out is going to need to know names of people and that by going to these meetings, doors would be opened. (Keep in mind that a lot of what we hear down here is through word of mouth and the accuracy isn't always known.) We were told that President Rene Preval is stepping down/ isn't running again so this could cause a lot of political issues. Other things we're hearing is that some of the non-profits that are receiving money for this disaster are quite corrupt and only 10 cents of every donated dollar is actually getting to the people .... I pray this isn't the case. I'm going with Jose in the next few days to the UN headquarters to get a badge that will hopefully allow me to gain access to medical supplies from the airport and will allow me access to medical care should I need it.
Last night was the last night for Patrick, Jake, and Josh to be here, so they made us all a big spaghetti dinner and took us out for ice cream! It was the first time Jared and Jalayne has had ice cream in 3 months! Bernard liked it too and got a few laughs out of the boys singing!! They headed out this morning and we will miss them and their help! :)
Well, I think that is enough of an update for now... I'm working my first shift at the orphanage turned hospital tonight from 7p-7a! Wish me luck!
More Quick Thoughts:
The ants here bite too!
Also, at the boys orphanage I had dirt on the butt of my shorts so the little boys took turns swatting it off and ran away giggling. It doesn't matter what culture, boys are still boys haha.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Some Come with Pity, Some with Love
I have arrived in Port-au-Prince!
To say that it is crazy that I'm actually here would be an understatement as well as a disservice to God. Door after door has been open that only He could have done and Monday morning at 6am I found myself looking out the window of a plane, feeling more peace and less fear then ever in my life--it definitely was a peace that passes all understanding! But..this isn't about explaining the wonderful ways God brought me here (if you want to know, you can ask me later). This blog is going to update my mom (who's sent numerous emails already haha) and whoever else cares to know what God is doing down here. It may contain random thoughts, poems, stories, or simply verses. Don't mind the typos :).
Ryan Wells and I took off from Cleveland on Monday (Feb 1) and after some flight delays and going through D.C., San Juan, we landed in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic where we met Ashley Glaze. The YWAM base in the DR took us in and fed us and were all-around wonderful. They had 84 volunteers staying there that night: young and old, from tons of different states and countries, backgrounds--some medical some not. Supplies kept flooding into the base so we helped unpack and talk with all those around. It was quite a full house!!!
We took off for Port-au-Prince at 5 am. The ride was about 7 hours and bumpy..but it was so great to be surrounded with people who prayed over the drive and all those on board. Met a wonderful man named Richard who was a Haitian-American (more on the later). As we got close we started to see the destruction. NOTHING can prepare you for the back neighborhoods and the damage that was done. The pictures DO NOT do it justice.
After much confusion the bus stopped in the center where the (now-crushed) Presidential Palace sits. More than just the sights, nothing prepares you to look out the window and into the eyes of the beautiful Haitian people looking back, directly into yours. There is such love and beauty and heartbreak in many of them.
I stepped out of the bus and the smell is truly mind-blowing, yet is much better I'm told from the previous week. I was greeted by a small boy pulling on my arm, who said, "I am hungry. Can you feed me. I need food. I need food." How do you say you can't? But he is only one out of hundreds of thousands. The person who met us told Ryan to get Ashley and I behind the gate of the police station immediately and not to let us come out without an escort. Ryan went out to meet Marion Coblentz (which is another miracle too long to type!). We were then whisked off to various places, dinner, and finally back to Jarrod and Jalayne Coblentz's place and Ryan to some missionary friends' place.
Today Ash and I headed out into the city along side Josh, Jake, and Patrick who are 3 guys from Akron that have been staying here for the past week and a half. Having them with us has been a Godsend as they have showed us how to get around on the taptaps and exchanged our money with the people on the streets since no banks are open. We went to a boys orphanage that has been converted to a clinic. Old women and young babies alike are laying on cots in the sun with broken bones and open wounds. Ryan was there working with a team on a young girl. The woman running it was so excited when I told her I was a nurse and asked me if I had OB experience...to which I could definitely say YES! So..I will be starting tomorrow or soon to relieve some of the nurses that have been doing back to back to back 12 hour days. Another blessing is that Bernard has come back from the Mercy ship to stay at Jarrod and Jalayne's and I will be able to change the dressing on his foot every day from his amputation, so I'm thankful for that opportunity. (see their blog, address below)
The boys took us around the city to pretty much everywhere. We got rides from men working with World Vision. Planes and choppers are flying overhead like crazy, although we are told it's slowing down. We've seen UN vehicles, military personnel, Unicef, and many other relief organizations left and right. We headed into one of the tent cities set up..and it is heart breaking. They beg for food and money....and help. The heat in there and the dust and dirt is awful, yet little ones run around steeling our cameras to play with and laugh with us.
Tonight a lot sunburnt later, we all headed to dinner with all the boys from the orphanage. They have never been out like this and when we got there they were in their best clothes, sitting up so still and proper, with the biggest smiles on their faces.
Immediately a Haitian man pulled me aside and said, "Some come with pity, some with love." Those words have really been on my heart tonight. He smiled and gave me his card. I talked with some people about what that meant. Unfortunately, sometimes people simply pity these people when they show up and make decisions based on these feelings which has led to many sad things--children being separated from their families and such. To love these people is to go beyond pitying them and their devastation. Loving these people and this beautiful culture means going to any lengths to do the absolute best for them, but as I'm quickly finding out, loving them breaks your heart. Pray that God will best use me to go beyond pitying the people I meet here, and to love them with His love......
Alisha
See these blogs for more updates:
http://www.jjcoblentz.blogspot.com/
http://web.me.com/ryanjwells2010/Nahum_1_5/Bonswa%21.html
Quick Thoughts:
I hate roosters. 4 am is NOT the morning
If I make it out of here without malaria it will be a miracle bc I'm a human mosquito pin cushion
All countries should have taptaps and allow us to ride in the backs of trucks at high speeds (don't worry mom!)
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